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Tuesday, July 22, 2008 : I Love.
my parents are going away for a holiday in China in,
8 hrs time. I know I would love the freedom. but they are going at the wrong timing. where Phat Nite & projects are driving me up the wall. 3 more days till Phat Nite. the committee is like still slackin & like taking it for granted like as if there's still lotsa time. I am taking for granted that I can always do my projects tomorrow. when I know, tomorrow never comes. I seriously hope that everything will be well in the end. I feel like I am going to de-focus myself any moment. just feel like giving everything up. well hope I can still manage to find the strength to continue. & it seems like suddenly, I feel I am detached from my frens. I feel so empty & hollow. crap the confusion I am having is not helping me. & it's super bad that I know I can't continue like this. anyway, hope that my parents will have a safe trip. and, hey you. get well soon alrights. exams are coming. Monday, July 21, 2008 : take a deep breathe.
 Me : Primary 1  Me : Secondary 1 shocking isn't it?
talking to Agnes. was bored out of my mind. changed my display pic on my MSN. she was super shocked at those photos. can you believe? : birthday.
celebrated Dad's birthday.
we had. BOTAK JONES. I didn't realize that there's a Botak Jones near my place.  My Dad's : Lamb Chop (Medium)  My Mum's : Black Pepper Chicken  My Brother's : Cajun Chicken  Mine : Rib Eye (Medium Rare) how to say. I've got good taste. or, rather I've got expensive taste. oh, did I forget to mention. my rib eye is 400gms?! =) my food cost double of any plate you see here. muhahaha... Sunday, July 20, 2008 : crazy. over 命中注定我愛你.
been too caught up watching.
命中注定我愛你 OMG. I am so hooked on the show lar. started since friday morning till now. wah. manage to finish all 18 episode. now waiting for the remaining unaired episode. I was like bawling my eyes out since the start of the show till like, now. 欣怡 is like so poor thing lar. Diva keep saying I am emo lar. pls. I am not emo. I am a emotional person. it's just that I wear my heart on my sleeve. but contradicting is that. I can hide it not bad. maybe the only time you will know how I am feeling is when you look me in the eye. & not knowing, well not look at me in the eye lar.! omg. I tell you. Dylan is so handsome. hahaha. hope Dylan & 欣怡 can be together in the end. but too bad. she only has 存希 in her heart & mind. but really I find 欣怡 is really truly sad. being label as 便利贴 lar. make use finish then throw her aside. but in reality, almost all of us do that. seriously, it is a superb show lar. apart from I keep crying constantly. now the song right, it's being keep playing over & over in my head. 99次我爱他. hahaha... think I am crazy over the song. & speaking of songs. Diva sent me this song. nice right? muhahaha... Saturday, July 19, 2008 : date.
woohoo..
just got back from a date with... Kunhou. hahaha.. it was such a surprise that he asked me to accompany to get a portable hard disk. but the silly boy, bought the wrong 1! hahaha... guess he misses his girlfriend. =) had pastamania. the banana dessert pizza sucks though. just as always had the Mariana in White Wine Sauce. damn nice. you guys should try it sometime. after chatting while having dinner. we decided to go breadtalk. to grab a cake for my dad.. it's his b'dae tomorrow. same as my other half, quek. woots. happy birthday QUEK. went home after that. man, I am leading a montonous life. I need to get a life. Friday, July 18, 2008 : moodless.
emo-ing. moodless. lacks motivation. lazy. can't be bothered. panicking. lonely. feels like crap. and the list goes on. 1 more week to Phat Nite. 2 more months till the big 23. 3 more months till Semestral Exams. not forgetting. 3 more days till my parents packed their lovely bags for their China trip. what sucks more? 1 more week to projects due. DSA, IP and WPDP. all coding based. they are going to suffocate me. how am I going to complete by next friday? with Phat Nite event due, it is exactly like those projects. just freaking kill me. i.e: push me to death (in any way), stab me, poison me, shoot me. then, chuck me to the crematorium. & scatter my ashes down the reservoir, drain, toilet bowls, rubbish chute, & whatever place you can think of. I think I am speaking wayy too much to Diva. his drama queen effect is rubbing on me. I just feel like,
SHIT. : congratulations
congrats that you got over it,
recently. I am glad. but about being friends part. it's not about me. it's about you. I am always here. I did tried to talk to you. replies wasn't that fabulous. so, I guess that if you think u/we can be friends back. initative is all it takes. maybe I am just tired of taking initative in the beginning. and getting replies that I have not hoped for. maybe somehow you will know what I was going through, when I wanna message you & I can't. fortelling what will happened & everything. but anyway, just to say the same thing. congratulations. crap, who am I kidding. I shld just bloody hell die & gone to hell. Thursday, July 17, 2008 : haywire
why haywire.
I am going through a phase which I think I am going crazy. been talking wayy too much with Agnes. I am not saying it's a bad thing or whatsoever. just saying that it's really nice talking to her. and it's really fun. =) Agnes has been telling me stuff about WJ. She & LP are worried about him. apparently, he is only willing to talk to QQ. Agnes has been trying to get me to talk to him for 2-3days. I just kept telling her. I don't wan to talk to him & ended up getting disappointed by his replies. I am not stupid. I can tell if I am unwanted in the conversation. the signs, the replies. finally, I decided to talk to him. about his mood. but somehow, I've predicted correctly. he hide behind some kind of mask that he has put on. and refuse to talk about it. I've tried, girl. sorry if I'm not able to help. well hope that he will stop pushing his friends aways. cos they really care for him. Wednesday, July 16, 2008 : ponders now?
chatted with Agnes & Diva last nite. hahaha... too much fun. hadn't had that in awhile. talked about alot of stuff. hidden & stuff that is in the light. I didn't realize that I'm such an arse in gossiping. hehe. well watever it is. like wat I've told Agnes. I have to move on. staying at the same spot, does no good to any of us. I have to say this self psycho-ing works wonders sometimes. wat's done,
cannot be undone. even though a part of it can't bear to. but it's a choice that he made. we can't do anything about it. I too can't stop him, if he wants to avoid. if avoiding makes it easier for him, then so be it. I won't deny that I feel sad to see it end this way. but I have to stop myself thinking of it. thinking of why is he so persistent & giving up. I won't deny that, there's always a part of me wanting to see him. & not wanting to. I have no idea how long it will pass, till I've truly get over it. but I know I have given up hope in relationship. maybe it's just not for me at the moment. maybe I have come in terms that I might have a possibility that, I might not be in a relationship. period. like I've said, I have to move on. it's just sad that it has to end this way. after being persuaded & all. & what I've learnt. Age does matters. and it is a problem in everything. it doesn't help much when I do tink of the times about you. god damnit. Tuesday, July 15, 2008 : wonders.
thinking of what Clarissa & Tidus said about my posting at Danielle's blog.
I don't think I am that daring at all. all I was just commenting on how I feel about the post. let's just put that I am an IC aside. we are just OGLs. we belong to SIT Club. it's a WE I am talking about. not an I. so what I am an IC? IC is just a name/title to identify us. anyone can be an IC. I remember senior Jeffrey asked me what is OGL. they are leaders. so what is the difference between an IC and an OGL? no difference. it's just a name. I choose to reply to Danielle's post. 'cos Danielle is part of OGL. although I don't really know her that well. but since I noe her, she's a friend. any of us have the right to voice out feelings. in any way of platform we want to use. Tidus was telling me that. I am an IC. and I will jepordize myself, being an IC, by typing those stuff on her blog. so? why jepordize? even if I am not an IC today. I will still write that same comment. and you have to agree that from her comments, she does have friends who support her. I am just writing how I feel from her post, and the person who comments those that are unfair. I just have to say this. we did not VOLUNTEER to be an EXCOs. you guys will be HANDPICKING us to REPLACE you. so just by saying that if we were to be EXCOs, will be a downfall for SIT Club, then I will have to say. Open your eyes bigger, and select carefully. The decision lies in your hands. not OURs. think carefully before you speak/type. but on the other hand, it just makes me wonder. if they are afraid to be replace & give up the authority. thank you. Monday, July 14, 2008 : fear.
crap.
I think I am going to repeat a few modules this sem. better pull my socks up. I am so in a dangerous zone now. I donno how to continue from where I've left off. alot of things seems yet undone. & I can feel that death is creeping nxt to me. help? : Read This.
click here: a tragic story
I promise that I will move on & stop walking at the same spot. cos, there are others who are living in a more sad environment than I. even HE were to truly wanting to avoid me. I can't do anything about. I've to move on. this is just so sad. I am sorry. for what has happened. Sunday, July 13, 2008 : IKEA.
it's been so long since I've last visited Ikea. especially with Alicia. suddenly, I begin to think that Alicia is my Ikea-kaki. the last we went, was before WF's b'dae. & now. we are back. things have been different. Aly is now attached. while I was attached with WJ & detached within a mth. quite a feat. only happens when I was like 18. once too. & now this. muahhahaha. didn't take as much photos of us or the food we were having. but we did have a lot of fun. well, aside from Aly being worried over the mood of her boyf. I had the same thing as always. Swedish Meatballs. Chicken Wings. swedish meatballs. their sauce is SIMPLY the BEST. cranberry sauce too. their chicken wings. oh man. it's so juicy. wat I missed. the roast beef. which I think is only available at Ikea Alexandra. I didn't get to taste the Poached Salmon too. just as always. I'm wow over at their designs. I've set my sights on the quilt selling at 25bucks. & the covers. oh my. the quilts are like so comfortable. suddenly I can forsee that, if I were to get the quilts, I can really stay in bed all day. & risk getting more letters from school. we ended our day with heavy stomachs filled with delicious Ikea food. ta-bao the chicken wings home. bought the Ikea candy, that really made u can't stop chewing on them. and here. are the pic I took at Ikea.  Our dream dining table.  My dream room.
Saturday, July 12, 2008 : presentation & Eric's 18.
 hahah nice
edited: it was too big. hehes we had our comm skills presentation on friday. which is in fact Eric's 18th birthday. I think screwed up big time for the presentation. half of the time I seriously donno what shit I was talking about. all I noe, I was babbling most of the time. well, guess in presentation, what I can rely on was my smiles & my voice. which is useless when I kinda always babbling for nothing. well moving over from comm skills. had IP test after. OMG. I failed my IP. 7 more marks. I would have passed. wat the hell right. I did alot of careless & silly mistakes. add in useless codings in as well.. everything was there, but I unfortunately begin to panic at the last min. thus, resulting in...don't talk about it alrdy. the teacher was like saying, she don't even noe how to gif me extra marks. cos for a mark of 10, I can get a 5. how bad is that. so nxt wk. I will chiong all the way.  the above are the committee doing the backdrop for Phat Nite V. not bad right the design? Husna did it.. she's got talent man. wahahaha... unfortunately for me, I stayed there for awhile, den I scott off to celebrate Eric's birthday. went off to Woodlands Sakae Sushi for dinner. went to play arcade. woots. I played House of the Dead 4. damn. I died at the beginning of level 3. I wanna play somemore. off the rest of them left after cutting Eric's cake. while, Shihui, Eugene, Eric & me went over to Civic's Plaza for party world. sing till closing. den headed for home. Thursday, July 10, 2008 : emo-ing
I suddenly feel so emo now.
how I wish I can just click on IT & type anything I want. without the feeling of fear of rejection &/or disappointment in the replies. I wish to say. "I am bored. entertain me pls. hahaha." or maybe "can chat? super sian man. how come not slping?" emo-ing. tell me what I should do. I do not want to avoid YOU. BUT, I do not know how to face YOU. I just want things to be back the way it was. is it so hard. help me? hahaha. I think I am truly insane. to say these kind of things. ok maybe i'll do the talking here. "hello. how are you?" crap. I suck. thanks for the reminder. help? : blank.
suffering a blank now.
went back to school for Comm Skills project. didn't wake up in time. damn sick. now having block nose. think I might suffer more block nose after that. currently thinking of how to start my report & presentation for my elective. I seriously suck at giving presentation. I hope that I will do ok. I am getting nerves from giving a presentation on friday. after that doing IP test after presentation. I am so nervous. I kinda wish that I can talk to HIM about it. DIVA, I suck, I know. I so don't need a reminder. --- in 2.5 months is my birthday. argh. getting older. but right now, this firday is Eric, 小蟑螂's birthday. his wish of going to kbox for celebration & ton till morning might be granted. we shall drink till we pass out. FINALLY, 小蟑螂 is 18. can club alrdy. you know we are waiting for this moment for quite some time. =)) Wednesday, July 09, 2008 : Year 2 Sem 1
it's going to mark the end of Year 2.1
'cos my Semesteral Exams will start on the 25th & ends on 28th August. will be at THE SPORTS hall. Again. omg. with Internet Programming, Computing Math 2 & Operating System Management. I so do not know how am I going to pass all of it. I have to say that, I really suck at theory. how, how, how? I am going to be in panic mode. I've suddenly side-tracked myself from CM2 from alot of things. IP. OMG. the teacher always remembers me, cos I am always late for her lesson. OSM. I am great with hands-on but theory wise. I suck, desperately. holidays will start straight after 28th. I think I remember some birdie's birthday falls on the 29th August. either Fuxin or Lijian. can't remember. but at least I am going to work after the hols. yay. I am looking forward to a new phone. looking at my options Samsung i900 and a Sony Ericssion. Nokia will still be my top choice. I am not sure I'm ready for WM (windows mobile). but looking at i900, it reminds me of iphone. hate iphone. too commmericalize. my trusty N73. I will pray for you survival. don't lose hope ok. although I can't hear you as great as before. but picture wise, you are still the best. Sybiam, I am hooked on you. I am afraid of WM. hope i900 will come out a black casing quick. Tuesday, July 08, 2008 : Hancock
Diva & Kunhou are the nicest people. Yong Hwee is a pang seh kia. I will always remember you yh!! & to think I still turn up being sick. you know how bad my flu was. was practically sneezing non-stop the whole day. even panadol does NO wonders for me. We wanted to watch Don't Mess With The Zohan. at Bishan. 'cos they have my cheesy pasta. but with YH pang seh us. we went changed our plans to watch the movie at Marina Square. trained over to city hall. passed by Gelare. a promised waffle, but get it. but was in a rush to get our tickets. I just discovered that no one believes a single word I say. FINALLY, Diva realize that GV does have cheesy pasta. stupid Diva. anyway, about Hancock. it's nice. like a normal superhero kind. just that in Hancock, he is highly despise by the people in LA. but the story behind Hancock is sad at the end. being with the person can bring great joy & sadness. went home straight after movie, as Diva & kh needs to wake up for school early the next day. --- I don't think I will be able to get a chance to watch Don't Mess With The Zohan. even if I have the slots open for HIM. I guess that it's no use. anyway I donno how to face YOU in school. I'm afraid to smile & getting disappointed that you did nth in the end. I'm just afraid. I donno how to react infront of YOU. hope that YOUR IAD is still doing fine. I donno how to chat with YOU on msn. cos YOU & I got nth to do with each other, sort of. well at least I am not sad anymore. just that my lack of motivation is still around. & I think I hate Thursday. cos I always can't help myself to see if you are there, near me. : camping
hahaha.
guess where I was just now? I was...in SCHOOL...till 1 AM. was actually rushing my WPDP project. woo...Eugene is so great lar. he totally made me change my mind & get me to work on my WPDP. thanks Eugene. =)) I am so beginning to think I am good at CSS. hahaha. now, I am going to work on my flash. wah...hope I still have my usual spark. I just feel sad that, I have no motivation in doing alot of things. just can't continue like how I used to. zZz.. so anyway, I stayed in school & within 8 hours I've completed 12 pages. wow. but I didn't do any flash. not forgetting the great company I have. Shihui & Vanessa. thank you. =)) there's still IP project, DSA project, Comm Skills project & Innovation & Technology project to do. wow. I am so dead. wish me luck. *grins* Thursday, July 03, 2008 : MP3 found.
OH MY.
My mp3 player is found. I was super sad that I've lost my mp3. guess that I have a new goal now. shall tell you again later. woohoo, diva maybe you no need to get me a mp3. maybe a portal hard disk? *winks* Wednesday, July 02, 2008 : TOP 10.
the idea came from Melvyn.
he is tabulating the Top 10 prettiest girls in lecture hall. it is solely for 06, 07 & 08. now, Eunice & I have this idea. TOP 10 Guys in Lecture. we have it in 2 categories. Good Looking & Not-So-Good Looking. Good Looking will be announce here. while the Not-So-Good Looking will not be announce. but if you are curious. you can ask me for the scores. =)) so pass this round. the TOP 10 guys.
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