cuihui
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take me to the sky
up & away
BOLD italics underline

01:27 what's the use of me thinking of you,
where you can continue enjoy life the way it was.
why am I getting all bothered,
when you are oblivious or neither give a damn about it.
why is that my heart is sinking,
when you can continue your life.

have I hit rock bottom or sink to the bottomless pit,
that I could no longer pull myself away.
the more I pull, the deeper I sink in.
is this my retribution of treating you badly,
when I shouldn't have.

I do want to pull myself together and be who I used to be.
but is my resolve that brittle,
that I cannot manage it at all, all the time.

tried all sorts of ways to forget you.
tire myself till late every night,
busy with countless of nonsensical things,
taking naps that turned into 14 hours of sleep.
all in the hopes of stop thinking about you.

people been telling me to get over you.
I can't say that I did nor did not,
but at least I know I tried my best.
still, the result is yet to be seen.

why can I just lighten up and let you go.
or is it just so, that you have been rooted deeply in me.

how I wish that a simple message from you,
is all I need.
a simple chat of hello or good bye,
will bring smiles to me.
or if I'm feeling greedy enough,
a never-ending of messages.

a simple call of awakening,
a simple messages of I miss you,
a simple messages of what are you doing darling,
a simple hugs of hello and good bye,
a simple hugs of wordless gestures,
a simple chat on your sofa.
just being with you is as simple as 1-2-3.

what's the use of being in tears when,
the person I want to know does not care.
all he can say is sorry.

a chance is what I have let it slipped through my finger,
that was deny from me.
but somehow,
I have no one else to blame but thyself.
a retribution I would say.

I know that for certain that our path might not cross again,
and that you or I might have someone else in mind.
but what I can say now is that the heart that is aching,
is solely just for you.

I am beginning to think that I have sink in too deep,
in this 1 sided affair.
which left me clueless,
since you told me those faithful words.
"I have no more feelings for you."

why is that you have lift up the hopes in me,
in order to crash it with a thunderous thud.
so much for not giving up easily.

countless questions of why and how always fills up my mind.
but neither would bring any answers.
I am such a weakling,
though others think otherwise.

what can I do to be free from all these.
more medicore, lack-luster replies?
I think, more likely to suffer than be free.

I think I need help.
from a professional, perhaps?

how I wish he would read it,
and understand that I miss him so,
and still liking him.
like how I was,
in the beginning.
where your presence just brings me joy.

are you reading it,
xxx?