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Sunday, June 10, 2007 : PMS-ing

03:12

codes! I long to do codes in blog! LOL...it might b fun? who knows?

*EDITED

think I am pms-ing!!

feeling very lost & heartbroken all of the sudden.

I am not supposed to cry or even think about what had happened.

But it seems that I can't!

I don't want to think about it..!

'cos if I do, my heart will hurt all of the sudden & I will starting tearing/crying.

I DO NOT WANT THAT!

I do not want to cry over it!

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He may say sorry. but I have no idea does he know what he is sorry about!

ya I've been through the issue that, it could be that WE have taken each othe for granted!

*being selfish

I feel that I am not appreciated for the things that I've done!

maybe...maybe I have nothing that is worthy to speak of.

well I DO know what he has done for me & i really care!

why doesn't he know how I am feeling inside, especially with his brother's death?

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*still being selfish

I am afraid of such things, cos I have no idea how to handle them.

I said that your friends will be much better of, cos they have been through with you when your dad passed away.

I don't know to talk about it, cos I don't know how to string the feelings inside of me, into words.

I got pissed/angry on that, cos I was angry with myself for being such a petty person.
*I was pissed at why didn't you picked me from the bus-stop & starting to get angry/pissed with myself for thinking this way. 'cos I know your mum needed you more then I do.*

My heart was broken into pieces when you said that I was FOOLING AROUND behind your back. & sleeping late 'cos I WAS PLAYING dota.
*Don't you think it sounded abit way too ridiculous for anyone's ears?I playing dota all night?Fooling with some other guy?*

I was really heart-broken to hear you say that. it kinda means that you have no faith/don't believe in me.

I thought I could grab some sleep on that day & accompany you the next day.but you said that why can't I come when you asked me to come?I know how you feel. but do you know mine?

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I know I should move on. Think I can't let go of the relationship. I've put my too much energies into it that, I can't recover. I don't. Just feel very sad/emotional. Have no mood in doing anything. Phone's been too quiet for me to divert my attention. Just feel like finding a small/any quiet place for me to brood over my emotions. Think I'll just let myself decay away.