cuihui
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01:27 I don tink I am feeling that well anywhere!

feeling very miserable! feel like crying myself to sleep everytime I tink of it! how? how am I gonna survive the rest of the nite? not gonna sleep?

had a fight with HIM!

HE said that I've nelgected HIM for my frens.
HE said that even that 1 day of the week I didn't reserved for HIM.
HE said that I've changed to someone HE don't noe anymore. HE said that whenever I am out with him, I turn him off. It apply otherwise for my frens!
HE thinks that I don't have any emotion after HE said all of the above.

It's all because of the stupid NOTES HE needed from CMS(Chapter2 Maths). why doesn't HE understand that I wanted to print it at home so that HE doesn't need to rush anywhere. HE was the 1 who told me that HE finish at 1630. Since I finish school at 1400, I thought that I could help him print instead staying in school & print! Clearly, what I thought was wrong! Everything!

HE just feel that I like to have fun with my friends all the time!

YES. I DO! but I did know that helping you print your notes was important! YOU were the 1 who said NEVER MIND in the end. and NOW, YOU are blaming for something that I was so readily to help!

WHAT the hell wrong have I done?

I did reserve the day for YOU! OUR ANNIVERSARY(FRIDAY). SATURDAY! Again, CLEARLY what I thought was wrong! I took off on Saturday, cos YOU will be staying in school till 2130 for lesson! being thoughtful has no uses to me. I might just go away!

what's wrong with spending time with my friends? they will be my classmates for the next 3years! I will be needing their help if I don't get thing from lecture!

I did asked YOU out on MONDAY! but YOU told me that YOU have a quiz to study! so I let YOU study! YES. I haven't been calling YOU whenever I got home! cos I'm always tired & I have the tendency to forget. I AM SORRY ALRIGHT! I didn't called YOU last NIGHT cos I slept the moment I got home! I did called YOU, but YOU were sleeping! if something I've done once doesn't count! then, just let it be that I never called you once I got home, since I started poly!

I turn YOU off when we go out? YOU don't do those sweet little things anymore! YOU forgot about cheering me UP, when YOU know that YOU have made me angry. I feel like a total stranger/friend when I'm out with YOU. YOU don't cuddle me anymore! I just like a total loser saying that! FORGET IT!

I did try to ask YOU join my friends & I when we are out! but guess wat? YOU said it's all too weird for YOU to join us! cos they are younger than YOU? WHY? guess I will never know! YOU just feel too weird that's all!

I don't feel anything when YOU said that! ya. thanks for knowing SO well after a YEAR of courtship! YEP. I have the heart of STONE! think what YOU may. cos I know whatever I've said, IT will be USELESS!

the conclusion:
I just want to melt away into NOTHINGNESS! I AM A SELFISH FREAK! I SHOULD BE CONDEMN IN HELL! & I THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR MAKING ME REALIZE HOW MUCH OF A JERK I HAVE BECOME!