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17:08 im an avid Lime reader since i was lyk primary 5, when it first came out...! hahha...well i only remember wat's poster was coz i still haf it..! it was 911! LoLx..! tink all the algae has covered the edges ard it liao! i was kinda reading the latest issue of Lime magazine with Eminem on the cover abt 'What If'! but the main point of me toking abt it is the last few pages stuff!

Qestion: Why DO Men Have Nipples?
Ans: Because they are created with the capacity to be a girl! When girls hit puberty, they experience hormal chnages & grow breasts. Guys? Nah, their nipples are practically useless to them, except to adorn their hard pecs.

Here's Tips for Girls whose their Guys are hardcore metrosexual!

1. Hide his hair gel. Don't return it unless he promises he can get his 'do done in under 5mins.
2. Point out other simialarly-tarted up fellas & comment, "I can't stand guys who're vain. Do you tink they are gay?"
3. Refuse to go shopping wif him.
4. Get him started on a new hobby that has nothing to do wif dressing up.
5. If all fails, threathen to break up wif him. A ger's gotta do wat a ger's gotta do.

1 min crash course on how to tell ur ger she's fat(without getting dumped!)

1. "Baby, do you tink i put on wt?" [throw a pity-party abt how fat u feel. Moan abt ur thunder thighs & thickening waistline & u'll haf her fat-obessed in minutes!]
2. "Did ur top shrink in the washer?" [the trick is to say like u mean it. Tell her it looks kinda odd now & suggest a looser fit. She'll forever sear off ice-cream & chips!]
3. "I tink ur fren doesn't look so gd aft she put on wt." [Women haf a full-tim job monitoring their gd's expanding hips/boobs. If u let on that her gorgeous ger pal looks fat, she'll b running to the bathroom for some personal reflection herself.]
4. "I bought this dress for slim women like you." [if ur ger needs to shed some pounds, buy her an outfit a few sizes out of reach. she'll b thrilled that she looks think in ur eyes & desperate to fit into that cursed knit!]
5. "Honey. let's lose wt together." [set a goal. for every kilo she drops, u'll math it even. women are into commitment & she'll luv that u're investing in her as much as she's risking her all for u. then watch her finally start on that diet!]

not bad for telling their partners without breaking their hearts!! imagine how devasted they will become!well @least u're not gonna get dumped that fast!! LoLx..! i've got another abt laws in other countries that will tickle u wif laughter!

• in Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but my only do so with her bare hands. The vixen however may b killed in any manner desired.(pity the vixens!! LoLx...)
• under Guam law, it is forbidden for virgins to marry, so young gers actually pay men whose main profession is to deflower them. (those lucky fellows!! darn...!)
• in Cali, Colombia, when a woman has sex with her husband for the 1st time, her mother has to be present in the bedroom to witness them in action. (man, don they feel embarrass abt it!! u tink the mother gonna interfere wat kind of position they are gonna b in??)
• in Santa Cruz, Bolivia, it is illegal for a man to haf sex wif a woman & her daughter at the same time. (wow does that mean he can do incest?! crazy...!)
• in Newcastle, Wyoming, couples are banned frm having sex while standing in a store's walk-in meat freezer. (are they nuts..! it's cold enough in wyoming...! standing in front? 2b freeze frm head to toe!?)
• in Texas, women are not allowed to own more than sex toys. (hahah...are they animal in heat! not they nid that heat...but 6! that's alot...!)
• in Florida, having sex with a porcupine is illegal. (huh? who wld wanna haf sex wif a porcupine?? it's all thorns..)
• in Iowa, kisses can last no longer than 5mins & moustach men are forbidden to kiss women in public.
• in Willowdale, Oregon, a man can b arrested if he curses during sex. (hahaha...so much for toking dirty!!)
• in Alexandria, Minnesota, no man is allowed to make luv to his wife wif the smell of garlic, onions or sardines on his breath. the law mandates that he must brush his teeth 1st! (wat a clean country!! LoLx...)

The Quickie(5 limp excuses NOT to wear a Rubber!)

1. I'm allergic.
2. They don't make them my size.
3. I'm environmentally friendly.
4. I've got slow swimmers.
5. I wore 1 last night.

with here i shall end it all...! tmr(5 Mar) is Jason's 20th B'dae! happy b'dae to u! =)
now im off to a gathering wif my sec sch mates!! happy reading!!